It’s Thursday again

It’s Thursday, and I’m not scared… I’m just sad… my paper isn’t as good as I want it to be, Tom doesn’t seem too enthused to talk to me this week and I think it’s because I was working all the time when he visited, and now, add to all things… it’s the last week of March… I hate the last week of March…Tomorrow is the three year mark after the accident. I miss Wadad so much. I’m going to drive on the freeway this weekend. Wadad would call me stupid if she knew I haven’t driven on a freeway for three years… I have to enjoy life for two and to achieve for two, I have to be the best that I can so that the part of her that is in me is the best that it can…This is when syntax kicked in three years ago… I need syntax to make me feel all better again… I need to have a project, a new project… I need to feel successful… I keep falling for some reason… I can’t explain it… I fell off the bike last week, I slipped in my apartment today, then I fell while walking the bike when I was heading to school… I got bruises all over my legs. It might just be stress, or low bp… but it doesn’t matter, I’ll get better. If I could pretend that god exists, I’d be able to pray, if I could pretend that god exists, I’d be able to pretend that Wadad is still somewhere waiting for me… if I could pretend Wadad was somewhere far away, I would be warranted to miss her… I wish I could pretend… I wish I could find a reasonable explanation for how much I miss her…

This entry was posted on 26. March 2009 at 21:07 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.